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Post by swifttail on May 28, 2007 0:00:57 GMT -5
Name: Glyder Gender: She-cat Clan: RougeClan Age: 4 & 1/4 moons Rank: unknown Personality: Glyder is small, but very strong. She is one of the most content kits you would ever meet. Glyder is as brave as the legendary Bluestar! She is not afraid to talk back. She can take care of herself. She is able to hunt, especial large rabbit. She is as smart as a warrior, should be put as an apprentice as soon as possible. She is restless when she can't get out of camp. When she was wandering, she hunted for herself. Appearance: Glyder is a tope cat, with rusty spots. She has a white muzzle, and paws are also. Her tail is black, with white speckles on the tip. She has faint gray stripes on her stomach. She also has brown ears. Glyder is weak-boned from lack of milk, and has a lot of body build for a kit of 4 & 1/4 moons. Glyder has humongous paws. Her fur is very long and thick. She is pretty big for four moons. She has no bit of main coon in her. History: Glyder wander the forest aimlessly until Deathblood found this she cat. She has no memory of what happened to her before... Her adopted parents 'were' Fireblood and Deathblood... The earliest memory for Glyder was walking along the river bank from the mountains, and her name, the strangest thing. Glyder's original name was Silver Glyder who glides over Smoothrock. Codeword: RougeClan Picture:
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Post by ☼Light of the Sea☼ on May 28, 2007 11:06:07 GMT -5
Hmm. I'm not sure if the name has to have 'blood' at the end - I thought it might, but Hawk will have to check.
Personality: Change 'dose' to 'does', change 'distinked' to 'distinct'.
Appearance: Change 'mussle' to 'muzzle', 'speckels' to 'speckles'. Change 'Faint gray stripes on her stomach' to 'She has faint gray stripes on her stomach.' Change 'week' to 'weak'. Change 'bild' to 'build'.
History: Change 'amlessly' to 'aimlessly', 'untill' to 'until'.
Do you have permission from Fireblood to be an adopted parent?
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Post by swifttail on May 28, 2007 11:12:48 GMT -5
Yes I do from the both of them! ;D and I have got it done... Is that better?
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Post by ☼Light of the Sea☼ on May 28, 2007 11:16:36 GMT -5
OK! Don't forget the 'week' to 'weak' and 'bild' to 'build.'
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Post by Leopardstar on May 28, 2007 11:17:46 GMT -5
I am Deathblood and approve of being an adopted parent. It does not have to end in blood if it is a ONE part name. Only two part names do.
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Post by ¥♥Snowhawk♥¥ on May 28, 2007 13:22:43 GMT -5
personality needs 2 and a half more lines. needs more history..........3 lines+1/2 a line. she needs to be older.....say 3 moons apperance needs 2+1/2 more lines. __________ Edit:she doesn't need adotive parents. If she did, Darkness would chose them, not the kit. History still needs 1 & 1/2 lines. Age: write it like 3 & 1/2 moons, not three and a half moons.
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Post by Leopardstar on Jun 5, 2007 18:26:55 GMT -5
Spell check you post will ya!
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Post by swifttail on Jun 5, 2007 20:30:16 GMT -5
I got it !
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Post by ¥♥Snowhawk♥¥ on Jun 5, 2007 22:15:37 GMT -5
One more line on history.
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Post by Leopardstar on Jun 5, 2007 22:26:05 GMT -5
And fix some grammer things. Make everything a complete sentence.
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Post by swifttail on Jun 7, 2007 19:59:46 GMT -5
kk Will do!
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Post by ¥♥Snowhawk♥¥ on Jun 8, 2007 21:04:59 GMT -5
Do it ASAP will ya?
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Post by swifttail on Jun 11, 2007 19:20:40 GMT -5
Alright, I have what you asked for done. You know, I flippen love this site because you give people chances to finish bios!
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Post by ¥♥Snowhawk♥¥ on Jun 11, 2007 19:36:43 GMT -5
*sighs* I geuss Accepted as a RougeClan kit. *whispers,*just, she doesn't need parents anymore. *waits for another mod to check this*
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Post by ♦Frosty on Jun 20, 2007 9:51:04 GMT -5
appearance- 'especial' should be 'especially' personality- 'should be' should be 'she should be' history- she doesn't really need adopted parents. Over all you still don't have enough lines but it is a kit so there is less to write. Other then that ACCEPTED as kit of RougeClan, still fix what I said though.
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